2021 is over and for most of us, it’s a gigantic sigh of relief but for others... it’s a year done full of regrets …regrets… regrets – the main ingredient of a bad break-up along with anger, sadness, and a lot of self-loathing. 2021 did offer a lot of promises – better healthcare, a decline in case numbers, “back-to-business” status for everyone, and the end of COVID-19. But as it was, all of these were met with a disappointing end of year report of more than 180,000 cases all over Australia.
So, what to do? Here’s a list of things that might help you get all cleaned up from the regrets of 2021 to start on a more hopeful 2022. Caveat – this is an uncanny break-up list so you might want to take it down.
1. Accept the fact that it’s painful. So yeah, you’ve been duped by 2021 – first hoping that everything would clear out mid-year so you’ve scheduled events, dates, parties and the whole she-bang only to find out that Delta and Omicron would steal the show and push you to retract invitations, cancel all bookings, send out your regret letters and put on a brave face because thank God there’s COVID-19 otherwise you’d be labelled as a fraud … at least not to your face. It is what it is. Acknowledge that it is painful to face all those failed preps and unachieved goals. Acknowledging this pain puts things into better perspective. It helps you to see the springboard towards self-actualization.
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2. Make a list. Take a deep breath and begin to look at things from a different perspective. Write down all the things you have about 2021 in one column. Then on the opposite column, write down all the good things that happened that same year. Putting all these in black and white takes you out of the equation for you to look at things in a more objective viewpoint – balancing the whole scenario initially tipped by despair and disappointment. By seeing this list, there should be realization that aside from all the bad things, there were... occasionally... some good that occurred.
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3. Reality bites… so get bitten! And move on. Of course, it’s not that easy. This might once again trigger some of those bad feelings which may call a deeper level of “kicking your behind” … So, this might help – remember that the “break-up” experience is like riding a roller coaster – it goes up and down… you go in and out of the grief… If this happens, you might want to indulge and get into the drama by doing the signature moves – walling, screaming over a cliff, crying with open arms while the rain falls, binge watching sad movies over popcorn and ice cream and the classic crying yourself to sleep and locking yourself in your room (which hopefully will help you lose some of those pounds you got from overeating.) Hopefully doing this allows you to validate what you’re feeling in a big way and tire you out from being the drama queen that you are. Then you can start thinking.
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4. Remember that it takes two. Hopefully when your mind has cleared up, you will be objective enough to realise that while you’re pointing your finger at COVID-19, the government, the infected, the business owners, the conspiracy theorists or just simply everyone you can blame, there are three other fingers pointed at you. Though you can’t control what they had done, could do or even possibly do, you can manage your own reaction. Acknowledging your participation in the whole scenario – not washing your hands, travelling without a mask, not thinking of other people’s welfare, and not taking the necessary precautions to keep yourself and others safe – will give you a good place to start your 2022.
5. Learn from the lessons of 2021. These lessons may differ for each person. This pandemic allowed us to focus on our individuality, our flaws, our needs, and our capabilities. By doing steps 1 – 3, you will realize how uniquely 2021 has affected you. Any painful situation brings their own silver lining, so to speak. But the worst thing that could happen is if you do not realise the real lesson of your ordeal because I believe that everything happens for a reason. After finding out the personal lessons that you have learned from this year, planning, and moving forward would be a lot easier.
6. Accept that it takes time to move on. But the moment you accept this, it becomes a lot easier to get the healing in motion. It takes out the pressure from deadlines and to do lists. It acknowledges that you are important and that recovering from this break-up will take time and that this process is yours and yours alone. But though your process is important, it is also important to get back to living your life productively.
7. Don’t forget to hope. Breaking up with 2021 may leave us cynical and untrusting, it should not prevent you from see the glass half full. It shouldn’t prevent us from acknowledging the power of hope. Our hopes keep us moving and believing that change will happen... that good things will happen – there’s a whole industry hinged on this so believe that it is powerful. Hope takes us over that high wall to fully enjoy the green fields on the other side… it gives us a reason to wake up each day and allow us to effect change.
Well, the good thing about break ups is that you can be assured that you’ll come out smarter and stronger. So, let’s all move on together to face a more exciting 2022!
Happy first week of this new year! :)